In today’s fast-paced world, many of us are feeling a little disconnected, and the numbers back it up. According to the U.S. Surgeon General, Vivek Murthy, the United States is dealing with a “loneliness epidemic.” But what does that really mean for our friendships?
The American Friendship Project (AFP) is digging into that question. This ongoing study is taking a closer look at the quality and quantity of friendships in the U.S., and how well people are staying connected. They’ve just released their first set of results, and the findings are pretty interesting.
Americans Have a Small Circle of Friends
On average, Americans have four or five friends, which has stayed consistent since the 1970s. Most people are actually pretty happy with that number—around 75% said they were satisfied with the amount of friends they have.
Not All Friendships Are Super Close—and That’s Okay
The study found that about 23% of friendships are more casual rather than close-knit. But don’t underestimate the value of these “just friends.” According to Natalie Pennington, one of the study’s co-creators, even casual interactions can help us feel connected and less stressed. So, those acquaintances you chat with at the coffee shop or on your morning walk? They matter too.
Many Want Closer Friendships
Interestingly, 42% of people said they aren’t as close to their friends as they’d like to be. Less than half are satisfied with the amount of time they spend with friends. Part of this might be due to physical distance—about 40% of participants said their friends live far away, making it harder to stay close.
There’s also the challenge of intimacy. As Dr. David Spiegel from Stanford University points out, intimacy requires effort, commitment, and vulnerability, which can be daunting for many. On top of that, with our busy lives and reliance on quick digital communication, deeper connections can sometimes fall by the wayside.
Few Are Truly Friendless
Despite concerns about loneliness, only about 2-3% of Americans reported having no friends at all. That’s lower than expected and somewhat reassuring. Different studies have shown higher numbers, but it turns out that people often consider family members, spouses, and even close coworkers as friends, which might explain the discrepancy.
Where Do We Meet Our Friends?
It’s not always easy to make friends, and where we meet them can be surprising. According to the study, only 10% of people said they made friends in their neighborhood, and even fewer (less than 6%) said they met friends online. Instead, school and work remain the most common places to build friendships, especially for college students and adults.
Making Friends Is Tougher Than It Used to Be
Nearly half of adults and over half of college students think it’s harder to make friends now than in the past. Many people feel that it was easier to make friends in childhood or during their school days. To bridge this gap, Dr. Spiegel suggests being proactive about meeting up with friends and responding to invitations. Just like with exercise or work, maintaining friendships requires regular effort.
In a world that’s increasingly digital, it’s clear that the value of real, human connection hasn’t gone away. It might take some effort to maintain and deepen our friendships, but the benefits are well worth it. That's why we're hoping Socialode will fix this. Socialode's goal is for you to make real friends, who see you, as you.
As Always,
You Just Need To Be You
Cheers,
The Socialode Team
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